


Different Shades Of Blue

by mvernet



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Canon-Fantasy, First Kiss, M/M, Songfic, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 21:06:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18157049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mvernet/pseuds/mvernet
Summary: Steve is very worried about Danny’s confrontation with his ex mother-in-law, Amanda.Coda for Season Nine Episode 18, Ai no i ka 'ape he mane'o no ko ka nuku. (The one with Amanda.)A canon-fantasy songfic inspired by Joe Bonamassa’s,Different Shades Of Blue.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7-CTdeRk2s





	Different Shades Of Blue

When you got nothing left to lose  
Might sound good, but I'm not sure that's true  
You carry the pain around and that's what sees you through  
The different shades of blue

 

Steve entered the hotel bar from the front lobby and kept to the shadows. He insinuated himself into a dark corner table, where the mood candle had flickered out. Steve played with a pineapple shaped, paper coaster left by the last customer and missed by the hustling waiter on his rounds. The waiter was at his side immediately, oozing well practiced customer service out of every pore. Steve ordered a Longboard, having had his fill of champagne.

The waiter brought the beer, an unwanted glass and another coaster for Steve’s collection. The efficient server paused a moment to light the candle and flash an nearly seductive smile Steve’s way. Steve dismissed the waiter with a distracted, “Mahalo,” and adjusted his uncomfortable, suit clad body for a better view of his partner and Danny’s X-MIL, chatting at the bar. Steve was just tall enough to see Danny’s back and Amanda’s perfectly sculpted face.

Steve chuckled softly at a private thought as he lifted the beer bottle to his lips. He was amused that Danny’s body language vocabulary was so extensive and his gestures so expressive, that Steve could read his back as easily as he could read his baby blanket blue eyes.

Danny was leaning back on his barstool, his hands open in a uncharacteristic sign of openness and submission. Steve frowned, worried that Amanda had hurt Danny yet again. But Amanda’s face was unusually soft, her bejeweled fingers anxiously moving, smoothing her already perfect gown. Steve wondered what witchcraft she was using to keep his partner listening quietly. A quiet Danny meant there was trouble brewing.

Amanda smiled and slipped gracefully from her seat. Danny slumped back on the bar and found his drink, clasping it with both hands like an old friend. He didn’t watch Amanda leave, heading towards the VIP elevators. Danny dropped his head, shook it slowly, then glanced around the dark room, finding Steve within seconds and zeroing in on his concerned face with a laser like precision. 

Steve raised his bottle in a feeble salute and Danny took a moment to order a two fresh longnecks, and sauntered over to Steve to join him at his table.

~~~H50~~~

The sun's been shinin' down on ya day and night  
Gettin' away with murder, livin' a lucky life  
All good things finally come to an end  
Hit ya like a train if you try to pretend

“You ‘k, Danno?” Steve leaned closer as his partner settled in, watching every nuance of Danny’s expression carefully.

Danny wiped at his face and blinked his eyes. “Yeah, Steve, I’m good. Thanks, mahalo, for hangin’ in there. Like you don’t have better things to do than to chase around after the ghosts of my past.”

“Hey, buddy. Don’t even go there. We could open a ghost busters business here in Hawaii with just you and me as clients.”

Steve was encouraged to hear Danny laugh. But his smile barely reached his eyes. The blue tonight was midnight, dark and stormy, flickering weakly in the candlelight as if the life was being snuffed out of them. Steve knew every shade of blue that was captured in his friend’s eyes and the meaning behind the variable colors. Steve decided to take the direct approach.

“Danny, what did Amanda say to you?”

Danny closed his eyes and took a long drink of his beer. He leaned towards Steve, when he opened his eyes, Steve could see his pain in the blue.

“She told me a little about her father. He was a working class guy. A good man. She thinks I’m a good man too.”

Steve nodded and pursed his lips. “That’s not too bad.”

Danny slammed his bottle of beer down on the table. “She thinks she knows me so well. She thinks I’m this working class hero. Not what she wanted for her daughter, but stable, reliable, like an old pair of work boots.”

“Well, Danny. You are, I mean you are so much more, but you are a good, stable, reliable man. That’s part of what I love about you.”

Danny shook his head slowly and bit his lip. “Not you too. I liked Mandy better when she hated me because I wasn’t good enough for her daughter. At least that was the honest to God, truth. I wasn’t good enough for Rachel or the kids and I never will be. Because the Danny Williams all you people seem to know is not me!”

“Danny? Wha’?”

Danny’s hands began to fly across the table. Grabbing Steve’s arm and letting go a moment later. “No! No, Steve. I am not a good man. I’m not a silent guardian. I’m no unsung hero. I’m a coward and a murderer. I’m useless when it’s really on the line. Billy, Matty, Pete, Grace, Meka. All dead. It’s just because of dumb luck and my crazyass SEAL partner that I’m not dead too.”

Steve reached out and grabbed the hands that were fluttering in anxious circles. Danny hardly ever talked about the other ghosts in his life. His boyhood friend who drowned, his police academy buddy who commited suicide after his first month of patrol, his partners and his little brother. Steve knew he’d lost count of his own ghosts, but he hated it when Danny’s showed up.

“Wow, Danny, that’s some guilt trip you’re on. You need to get off that train ride before you’re sucked onto the tracks. None of those deaths were your fault. I know you. You were right there fighting off Death with both hands flying. But sometimes, Death wins, buddy.”

Danny sat back and sighed, his eyes reflected the azure blue of a thin shimmer of water in the candlelight. “Yeah. And sometimes I give him a hand. What does that make me? A quietly heroic man like my Pops? A good soldier like you and Joe, silently takin' the hits for the rest of us and protecting this country on the front lines? My kids look up to me, I know they do. But how long until they figure out the truth? When my sweet Gracie almost died in that car crash, when little Charlie almost died years ago, when you nearly died in my arms and it was my blood offering that saved you, all the times I was knockin’ on hell’s door and _you_ pulled me back. Was that Death toying with me? Angry because I was messin' with his turf? You don’t know the sleepless nights I’ve had over that question, babe.”

Steve’s heart ached for his partner. He loved the man across from him with every decent feeling he had left in his soul. Danny’s soul stripping anguish only made Steve’s love deeper and bolder. He tried to move the conversation to a more pragmatic path.

~~~H50~~~

Everybody knows that she broke your heart  
Everybody knows that it's been tearing you apart  
The boat you've been sailin' on has sprung a leak  
You won't admit, but it's startin’ to make you weak

“Danny what’s going on with Rachel? Was Mandy giving you some sort of blessing?”

Danny snorted and took another long drink from his beer. Steve did the same.

“More like a warning. Do right by her daughter or else. But yeah, she thinks Rachel and I should get back together. Guess my ex has been chatting up her mum about how great I’ve been with the whole Grace thing. I hardly knew what I was doing, Steve. I was numb, a dead man walking. If Grace had died or had brain damage, that would have been it for me.”

“Aw, no, buddy. Don’t say that. You know I would have been with you every step of the way.”

“I know, babe. You were my rock. You have always been my rock. When I’m fallin’ in a hard place, you’re my soft landing, where I can find some real truth.”

Steve finished his beer and signaled his server to bring two more. He wanted to keep Danny talking. He didn’t like the flashes of black water in the marine blue of Danny’s eyes tonight. He didn’t like his cryptic answers about Rachel or the defeated slump to his shoulders.

“So are you saying yes? You gonna marry Rachel again and start over?”

Danny finished his beer and smiled briefly as a frosty glass and another beer was placed in front of him. In a smooth move from his Jersey days, he tilted his glass and poured his beer in without it forming a head. He looked up to see Steve grinning. “What, Steven?”

Steve shrugged. “Nothing. I just like when you do that. I can imagine you in some corner bar in Newark watching the Mets with a bunch of old men and cursing at them when they strike out.”

Danny chuckled and took a sip. “Murray’s Corner Bar. The one nearest the house Rachel and I rented before we had Grace. I used to hide out there after a bad day at work, uh, so’s I wouldn’t take the crap of the job home with me. And no, I’m not getting back with Rachel. But I am going to do right by her.”

“If you’re not getting back…”

“There are other ways of taking care of her and the kids. I don’t want to lead her on. Amanda was right about that. I need to tell her how I really feel and straighten things out with her. Anyway, I think it’s just the stress of almost losing Gracie. She was all over you too, Steve. Uh, don’t think I didn’t notice that.”

“What? Danny you couldn’t think…”

“Oh, nonono, babe. Not you. I just mean that she needed a strong shoulder to lean on and I was there and you were there for me, for all of us. She’s not going to suddenly stop lying to me. And sooner or later, she’ll find someone more suited to her refined tastes. I know how her mind works. She’s been talkin’ to her mother who is one fine example of what Rachel may end up like some day. How horrific is that? You and I almost retired with the restaurant. And I’ve got my twenty in at the end of this year. I can hardly believe I’ve been with H50 nearly ten years. Where did the time go, babe?” 

Danny’s eyes flashed with cobalt blue regret and Steve held back a gasp at what he saw. He just shrugged.

“And Rachel’s older too. The thing with Gracie, it had to make her think about her life. Forty-something, divorced twice, two kids. one goin' to college? How long until she's a grandmother? She’s freakin’ out. But me gettin’ back with her? That boat has sailed, babe. It’s sprung a leak and is sinking fast. Uh, yeah, I know it. But it doesn’t mean I don’t owe it to her to make her feel more secure about her future.”

“Do right by her. How you gonna do that Danny?”

“Uh. not sure, yet, Steve. You know, she’ll have my pension, and maybe I can make some investments… um… you know, financial planning.”

Steve breathed out and relaxed. “Oh. Okay. I get that. Yeah, that’s doable, right?”

“Sure… uh, not to be morbid or anything, but I got insurance and stuff in her name for when I… you know, pass on… her and the kids, they’ll be good. Like, Jimmy Stewart in, _It’s a Wonderful Life._ I’m worth more dead than alive.”

~~~H50~~~

Tell by the way you hang your head  
The way you cast your eyes and the things you haven't said  
You've got the past ten years written on your face  
Your whole damn life's been one big race

Steve felt like spiders were running up and down his back. He felt hot, fury flow through his veins and fuel his words. “Danny! What the fuck? What the fuck are you saying that for?”

“Steve, I only meant… you know… the future…” Danny stumbled over his words and hung his head, unable to deny the serious meaning behind his innocent sounding statement. Steve grabbed onto Danny’s arm and squeezed, hard.

“You thinking about giving Death a helping hand? Letting the job kill you? Maybe forgetting your vest on a raid or sending your car over a cliff while chasing the bad guys? You really think your presence in our lives is worthless and unimportant, or that your financial legacy is good enough for your kids? And what about me, Danno? You think about me in this grand scheme of yours?”

“What about you, Steve? What do you need me for? It was Joe you would follow to the ends of the earth and Catherine you turned to in your time of grief and need. You surround yourself with an ever-changing, protective ohana of your own choosing. You know I love you, Steve. You know you give my life meaning and purpose, not to mention, I’m closer to you than to anyone else in the whole wide world. But you don’t need me and you don’t love me like I do you!”

“What are you talking about. Of course I need you. I love you, too!”

Danny leaned forward and hissed out his words in an angry whisper. “Oh, yeah, superSEAL? Do you start everyday thinking of me and end every night aching for me to be beside you? Do you sit in your lonely house, unable to sleep, worried about my health and prayin’ that you have my back the next time Death comes to call. Do you yearn for my body and fantasize about fucking me until your balls are blue and your eyes are red? Huh? Do you, Steven?”

“YES!” Steve screamed the word and several patrons glanced their way. Steve placed a hand on Danny’s cheek and caressed his stubble with his thumb. He lowered his voice and chose his next words carefully. “Yes, Danno. Yes, I do. We need to pay the tab and get a room. Now.”

~~~H50~~~

Everybody goes there whether they want to or not  
Everybody starts to hold on to what they got  
And start to settle in for the long haul  
Real life babe, oh you can’t have it all

Danny paled, and then blushed so that it was noticeable even in the dark bar. “Steven?”

“I said, now, Danno.” Steve didn’t even bother to ask his server for a check. He took out his wallet and threw a few tens on the table. Danny looked even more shocked, if it was possible. Steve took Danny’s hand and pulled him up.

“Babe, come on. It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. I just really need to finish this conversation in a private room with a bed.”

Steve placed a proprietary hand at the small of Danny’s back and gently steered him out of the bar and up to the main desk. Steve requested a king-suite on the same floor where Amanda was staying, knowing they were the best rooms the hotel had to offer. He handed his credit card over without asking the price. He glanced at Danny. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes had lightened to cerulean blue, were moving rapidly, taking in everything Steve was doing.

“I’d like room service right away. May I see a menu now?”

The front desk clerk smiled and handed over a menu, pointing to the late night menu and making some suggestions.

“What do you think, Danny? They got a romantic midnight caviar and steak dinner special or they have a pizza service that delivers to the room.”

Danny’s eyes opened wide. Changing shades even as Steve spoke. Steve’s heart fluttered in his chest. The color of Danny’s eyes was a shade he had never seen before. It reminded him of the blue Hawaiian sky after a turbulent storm had passed through. He could almost hear the koa’e kea birds calling. Steve placed a comforting hand on Danny’s shoulder, he startled at the touch.

Danny cleared his throat, nervously. “Oh. Uh, the pizza place sounds good. Yeah, uh, how about we maybe get heroes, though? And beer. Need more beer, definitely.”

The discrete and helpful clerk put in their order for them. Steve made sure Danny got his favorite chicken parmigiana sandwich with extra cheese and garlic wings, while he ordered a salad and loaded breadsticks. Steve winked at the clerk, who was smiling at his tip. Steve threw an arm around Danny’s shoulders and pulled him protectively to his side as they headed for their room. Danny was uncharacteristacally silent as they rode in the elevator and made their way down the hall. Outside the room, Steve stopped and pushed Danny gently against the wall.

Danny allowed himself to be manhandled and looked at the floor for a moment. Steve placed his palms against the tasteful wallpaper on either side of Danny’s head. Danny looked up his eyes bright with anticipation. Steve let out a soft moan.

“Danny, Danny, Danny. Those eyes are lethal weapons. Who taught you how to aim and shoot those things? And what’s with that color, huh? Every shade of blue. I get lost in there and I never want to come back.”

Before Danny could answer or even think, Steve was kissing him. He took Danny’s mouth cautiously at first, licking Danny’s lips, then pressing his own against them. Steve was pleasantly surprised when Danny erupted in passion. Danny gripped Steve’s lapels and pulled him close. He bit Steve’s lower lip demanding entrance to his mouth. Danny’s tongue slid in and Steve moaned in earnest, pressing his body against his partner’s, feeling the arousal growing between them.

“Daniel! What on earth are you doing?”

Amanda’s voice cut through the air. Steve and Danny started and broke apart.

Steve stood tall and raised a hand. “Mandy. I love this man. And I want to thank you for finally giving me the incentive to stake my claim. Danny is the best man in the world and he’s mine. I should arrest you for the damage you and your demon seed’s torture has done to this beautiful man’s self-esteem. I plan on spending the rest of my life making sure he knows how good and worthwhile he is. From now on you witches go through me if you want any part of Danny Williams. And I’m telling you. I really don’t like to share. You can run and tell your selfish, bitch of a daughter that, or you can have the decency to wait for us to tell her. But either way this man is off the market.”

Amanda bristled and planted her hands on her hips. “Daniel? This is what you call doing right by my daughter?”

Danny grinned, then reached out to stroke Steve’s cheek. “No, Amanda. This is someone finally doing right by me.”

Danny’s eyes held Steve spellbound as he watched their color swirl and settle into a different shade of blue colored just for him. 

~~~H50~~~

When you got nothing left to lose  
Might sound good, but I'm not sure that's true  
You carry the pain around and that's what sees you through  
The different shades of blue


End file.
